Saturday, March 30, 2013

What a Week



Jameson is 2 and 1/2 months now! Time is flying! We have had a busy week. We had Passover and are in the middle of Unleavened Bread this week. We have taken a few walks and it has been warm enough for the kids to get outside and play. Juliet is attracted to the dirt, so whenever she goes outside she immediately has to take a bath when she gets in.  It was not a good week for the animals at out house this week. We  had a fish and chicken die this week, and poor Peanut's anal glads were neglected for far to long. The dark side of owning animals and a small dog.
Yesterday the kids and I went and spent the afternoon with some old friends that were in town. Josiah was old enough to remember them, and he was very excited. It was such a wonderful afternoon for both the kids and me.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Social Anxiety

  I stood there frozen, like a deer in headlights. The tears started to fall. Then the tears turned into sobbing, as I  begged my mom not to make me go. The fear was so intense that I felt as if I might pass out.  I was wishing I would pass out; then I wouldn't have to go. Time seemed to stop as fear took over and my insides started to tremble. She said she only needed me to pick up a few things, but that didn't matter. The battle of logic and terror raged inside me. The thought of even walking into the store, of people looking at me, made my heart race and my hands sweat. What if someone asked me a question? What if they looked at me wrong?  What would people think of me?  What if I do something embarrassing or say something stupid? I was 16 years old at the time, and all I had to do was walk into a store.

       For someone who has never had social anxiety, this may seem unreal. For me, it was very real and debilitating. Some may call it being shy, but this went far beyond just being shy.  The sheer terror I felt when having to talk to someone I didn't know was overwhelming. Even going out in public by myself was very, very difficult.

How did I start to overcome social anxiety? 

     I sat in my car praying for the courage to go into the collage admissions building just to pick up paperwork I needed.  I tried to tell my self  "Go now,"  but nothing happened. I  told myself, "This is ridiculous. No one's going to hurt you. So what if they think you're silly."  My heart was beating so fast. My hands were sweating, my insides were shaking, my face was red, and I felt as if I would vomit. The battle raged on. Finally,  I was able to get out of the car. I hoped I wouldn't run into anybody on the way.  I wanted to go back to the safety of my car, but I pushed on.  I arrived at the admissions office, and I immediately dropped my eyes to floor, hiding my self from the world. If I couldn't see them, then maybe they wouldn't be able to see the terror I felt. I asked for the paper work.
   
      That's how I started overcoming social anxiety.  I literally had to force myself to do small things,  things I wouldn't think twice about doing now;  grocery shopping, calling the doctor or an acquaintance.
  
      After I got more comfortable with the small things, I moved on to harder things. I wanted to try out martial art for many years, but was too afraid. So, I convinced a friend to try it out with me. She didn't like it.  I loved it.  Now I had a choice to make.  I either had to face going by myself, or stay in my comfort zone and miss out.  I choose to go, even though it was really difficult.  I am so glad I did. It was a wonderful experience, and sometimes I still miss it. 
 
    Now it was time to try something else outside my comfort zone. For quite sometime, I wanted to become a pilot. I went down to the local airport and started taking private pilot lessons.
Next, I moved away to a city 1,120 miles away from home. I lived with my cousin and my grandmother there, so I did have some security.  I found  a church to go to, and a job at a preschool. Even though all these things were hard to do, I was able to do them.  Sometimes, I still had to sit out in my car, and pray for courage to do something or go somewhere, but it was easier now. 

   I met my husband at the church I attended, and we were married in less than a year. We have since moved to a little tiny town a few miles from nowhere. Every year the anxiety is less of a struggle. 
*Update
I first wrote this post when I first started blogging. I find that this blog has been "therapeutic" in my journey of overcoming social anxiety. When I first considered blogging, I was horrified at the idea.  Every body can see your thoughts, your writing mistakes, and it really opens yourself up for judgment. Now it's not so horrifying. I  do try to play it safe though. I would have never started blogging had it not been for my husbands encouragement. Anybody who enjoys Sword Fight and Tea Parties can thank him.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Trim Healthy Mama

This post will not be about the kids. That being said, it will be about me, and the dreaded weight issue. I am finding it's a little harder to lose the weight from this last pregnancy than the previous ones. It's never a good feeling when you weigh more than your husband. Plus, I just don't feel healthy. I want to be healthy and fit for both my husband and my kids. I am going to get there one way or another.
There is a new book that has come out called Trim Healthy Mama. It has received very good reviews, and it promises it is not another fad dieting book. Well, I just finished reading most of it.
It is a fairly large book with over 600 pages. I bought the Nook version, and I wish I would have spent the extra money and purchased the actual book. It's hard flipping back and forth through recipes on a Nook.
The short version of Trim Healthy Mama is don't eat fats with carbs. You can eat both fats and carbs just not at the same meal setting. It is about maintaining a healthy insulin level.
I could add a lot more about the book, but there are plenty of other thorough Trim Healthy Mama reviews that you can go read, or if you really want to know from me, I am just an email away.
All that said, I am starting a new way of eating. We will see if it works. I will update each week with the progress, if there is any. You can check for new progress in Health & Weight Loss

 
*****Update*****
 If you are already eating healthy, I would not recommend this book to you. However, if you need some motivation and information on how to eat healthy, I would highly recommnd Trim Healthy Mama to you. One thing to be aware of though, is a lot of the Trim Healthy Mama recipes call for eggs, which might be an issue if you have an egg allergy. Now, if you are already eating healthy and want to lose weight and need some motivation, I recommend trying out the Fitbit. I really love mine, and the weight is finally starting to come off.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

9 Weeks



Where did the last nine weeks go? They have flown by. I am so enjoying my children. They make me laugh, daily. Where they come up with some of the things they say and do, I will never know. I am really treasuring this season in life.
Josiah and his new hat just like Dad's.
That being said, not all our days are filled with sunshine and roses. I had a Calgon, take me away day this past week.  I'm pretty sure all four were crying at the same time and if you were eating lunch at the Cafe across the street, I am sure you would have heard the screaming.

Showing Jameson their trains.

I know this is blurry, but I love how they both have real smiles.

Getting stronger.
Jameson is such an enjoyable baby. He rolled over for the first time the other day, he is smiling like crazy, and some of the sweet noises he makes, melt my heart. He does seem to be a little gassy at times, nothing horrible, but we do have to hold him a certain way and pace the floor with him. It's really not anything super stressful though.

Dad Pile!


Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Picture of the Day

Too Many Toys

In an effort to to cut down on the number of toys we have and to help the kids keep organized, we spent yesterday morning going through toys. The kids helped decide which toys to give away and which toys to keep. Jada started out with a bang. She was ready to give away all sorts of toys; even the ones she plays with a lot. At that point, I figured she didn't really understand she will never see them again, so I saved some that I know she plays with and then went along with the others she wanted to give away. Josiah was pretty good about getting rid of things. Some of the things he ended up choosing to give away surprised me, including some of his trains. They were not part of his Thomas The Train set, therefore they don't fit on the train track, so I could see where he was coming from. We ended up filling a big bag with toys to give away. 
Next, we started organizing them. We do this every couple of months. We assign groups of toys to specific bins, however, within a week all the toys are usually mixed together. This time I was finally able to print out pictures for each bin. Now the kids know which toys go in which bin.



Saturday, March 16, 2013

8 Weeks!

 Jameson is starting to fill out making him extremely snug-a-buga-able. I could just snuggle him all day.  He is so cute.  He is starting to make more sweet cooing noises. He still grunts all the time.  He is also smiling more! I am soaking it all up.

Look at those sweet little cheeks

He is too adorable!

The spot where his hair is all matted, is where Juliet gave him a big juicy kiss.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Song For A Fifth Child (Nobody panic I am not pregnant)


Josiah

Right around the time I had Josiah my mom gave me a clock with the last four lines of this poem on it. I had no idea that there was more to the poem. After having four babies, I am realizing just how quickly they grow.  Everyday seems the same, but every day is just a little bit different from the day before.   I am thankful they are all growing just as the Father designed them to. It really is bitter sweet. 


Tuesday, March 12, 2013

New Moon, New Year!


In case anyone is following the Biblical Calendar we saw the New Moon of the New Year tonight!

A Beautiful Mess

I like cooking with my kids. However, lately it has been very unpleasant.  We don't have a lot of counter space, which creates a tight squeeze when everyone is trying to help cook. This leads to comments such as "She's touching me" and "Moooom he's on my chair."  Which then leads to pushing and shoving. Then I have to stop what I am doing and take care of the matter at hand. This creates a very unpleasant experience for the kids and me.
Today at nap I was laying there thinking about it, and I have solved the problem.  I am embarrassed that I didn't think of this before now.
We set up everything on the table and everybody had there own spot.  I gathered the ingredients and cooking utensils out of the cupboards, and the kids took them to the table.  Everybody took turns measuring, pouring, and mixing, even Juliet got her turn. We had to take a little break in the middle of adding the ingredients, all the baking made Jameson hungry. They all had a turn filling the muffin tins.  After we baked them, they all had a muffin.
 It's a joy to be able to teach them how to bake!
It was a beautiful mess we created while baking together.

All ready to start!


Mixing it up!




Filling the muffin tins.


Behold their gluten free Pumpkin Spice Muffins!

Jada's Hair vs. The Dutch Braid

This is how Jada's hair looks if I don't do anything with it.

I did a dutch braid across the crown of her head.  It sort of looks like a little crown.

Top view.
Front top view.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Take One

Take One

Take Two

Take Three
(Getting closer)

Take Four

Take Five
(Almost)

Good Enough!

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Some Pictures


6 1/2 Weeks!

Messy Hair!

Josiah and Jada folded and stacked ALL this Laundry by themselves!!!

 

CURLS!

This is her say "Cheese" smile.


No room for Mom.


Josiah and his most prized possession, the blue blanket.



Bible Time with Dad!

I LOVE Babies!





Saturday, March 2, 2013

Going for a Walk

It was such a beautiful day today, and most of us were overdue for some outdoor time. So we decided to take a family walk.

 Getting ready to take a walk.


Just starting out.


Walking up the hill.


Stopping for a picture.  Sadly mom is the only one looking at the camera.


Juliet had a great time taking in all the "new" sights.


Picture time outside the cafe.


 Mmmm, pie.  Josiah and Jada were very excited to tell our server and the baker all about the melting snow we saw on the way to the cafe.
 Jada ended up licking the chair and Juliet licked the table. YIKES!


Running down a ramp.

When we arrived home they all took a two and a half hour nap!
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